{"id":462,"date":"2012-03-04T16:49:11","date_gmt":"2012-03-04T22:49:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/?p=462"},"modified":"2012-03-04T16:49:11","modified_gmt":"2012-03-04T22:49:11","slug":"put-your-shoes-on-your-ears-and-dance-around-the-room","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/?p=462","title":{"rendered":"Put Your Shoes On Your Ears and Dance Around the Room"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Don and His Wound Vac Man Purse<\/p><\/div>\n

We’re going through a bit of a rough patch right now. \u00a0Don has been off antibiotics for a while now, which we thought would improve his digestion, but instead he’s lost even more weight. \u00a0It’s very depressing, and he’s getting frustrated and short-tempered about it. \u00a0Here’s the story we are now telling ourselves: He had so much edema when he came out of the hospital that he is just now getting rid of all that extra water and returning to his actual weight. There may actually be something to this since yesterday was the first time he has been able to wear his shoes in a month. \u00a0His feet have been so swollen that he’s been wearing sandals. \u00a0As for the weight problem,\u00a0he’ll take all the meds they want to give him, but he doesn’t want to go back in the hospital, that’s for sure. \u00a0But he can’t get any skinnier, either! \u00a0I mean, his skeleton must weigh something. <\/p>\n

This failure to gain depresses Don, which of course depresses me. \u00a0Until he bulks up, he won’t be able to get the ileostomy reversed. \u00a0He’s tried everything in the book to slow down his output, but thus far nothing has done a whole lot of good. \u00a0We’ve both spent a lot of time on the internet researching the problem, and have found a forum for people with ileostomies. \u00a0Apparently this is not an unheard-of problem, which in a perverse way is good to hear.<\/p>\n

Don doesn’t really need to have someone with him at all times, but whenever I do go to the store or run errands I cajole him into going with me because I think outings are good for him. Sometimes we just drive around. He can’t stay out for too long, an hour or so, but he admits it helps. His routine is time-consuming, what with all the meals, etc., which makes it hard for me to find time to finish this damn book, which doesn’t help my psychology much, either. \u00a0<\/p>\n

Otherwise, it really isn’t as bad as I’m sure I make it sound. \u00a0He feels good, much more energetic. \u00a0He exercises and gets around much better. The wound is healing. The wound nurses come three times a week to change the sponges. His appetite is prodigious. And I have managed to make some progress on the book. \u00a0I had a good idea for the climax, which cheers me considerably. As with any illness and recovery, you go through your ups and downs, and as my mother always said (and I do mean\u00a0always), this too shall pass. <\/p>\n

For many years now, I have been a student of Zen, which I love, because it\u2019s very helpful at times like these.\u00a0 It\u2019s also pretty funny, and anything that\u2019s pretty funny is okay with me.\u00a0 Years ago, I went to my first meditation retreat with some trepidation, since I had heard that during sitting meditation, the sensei prowls around the room with a long stick and occasionally whacks the hell out of you when you least expect it.\u00a0 The point of this is to make you be totally in the present, and believe me, when you think you\u2019re about to get smacked at any minute, you actually quiver with awareness.\u00a0 As it turned out, our sensei told us that he quit doing that because his students seemed to enjoy it too much.\u00a0 So I\u2019ve never actually been assaulted while meditating.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure most of you Dear Readers have heard of koans, such as \u201cwhat is the sound of one hand clapping,\u201d those apparently senseless little sayings and stories that you can ponder on all day.\u00a0 Here is one of my favorites:<\/p>\n

A Zen master was teaching his students when a cat wandered into the room.\u00a0 The master picked up a cleaver and said, \u201cIf any of you can tell me the true meaning of existence, I won\u2019t kill this cat.\u201d\u00a0 Not one student said anything, so the master whacked the cat, and his students ran out of the room, horrified.\u00a0 The next day, the master was relating the incident to another sensei.\u00a0 \u201cI said, if any of you can tell me the true meaning of existence, I won\u2019t kill this cat.\u201d\u00a0 The second master sat there for a moment, then hung his shoes on his ears and danced out of the room.\u00a0 As he disappeared, the first master yelled after him, \u201cIf you\u2019d been here yesterday, that cat would have lived!\u201d (Please don\u2019t get all het up, cat lovers.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t really happen.)<\/p>\n

Or how about this one :\u00a0 Two masters were debating which of their teaching methods was best when a disheveled drunk burst into the room, kicked the crap out of the first master, and ran out.\u00a0 \u201cWho was that!\u201d\u00a0 he cried.\u00a0 \u201cThat was one of my students,\u201d said the second master.\u00a0 \u201cYou win,\u201d said the first master.<\/p>\n

Ah, I\u2019m feeling better already.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’re going through a bit of a rough patch right now. \u00a0Don has been off antibiotics for a while now, which we thought would improve his digestion, but instead he’s lost even more weight. \u00a0It’s very depressing, and he’s getting frustrated and short-tempered about it. \u00a0Here’s the story we are now telling ourselves: He had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writer-rant"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2H58s-7s","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=462"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.doniscasey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}