How Do I Feel?
Today marks one week since I went into the hospital on January 8 to have a few things removed that didn’t belong in my body and had begun squashing the things that did. I’ve been home for four days.
I feel like I’ve been stepped on by an elephant.
I look like Nick Nolte’s mug shot.
The anesthesiologist had all kinds of trouble with the breathing tube, so for several days, every time I spoke I sounded like Mr. Toad on his wild ride.
My arms look like I’ve spend the past year shooting up under a bridge with the other street people.
Every time I cough it’s like Joe Frazier punched me in the gut.
I walk like Tim Conway’s little old man. I try to get up and move as often as I can, but after fifteen or twenty minutes of walking I need a two hour nap.
My belly looks like Freddie Kruger carved his initials in it.
The surgeon removed what he called a “large undifferentiated uterine mass.” The problem is most likely genetic. Both my sisters have had said “undifferentiated tumors” removed from various endocrine-related areas of their bodies. I have a niece who barely has an intact endocrine gland left. I gather that “Undifferentiated” indicates a tumor is probably benign. The doctor’s office called my husband with the lab results on Monday. The tumor was NOT cancerous.
I feel fine.
January 15th, 2014
Great news that it was not cancerous and you are home.
January 15th, 2014
This missive is to inform you that your Sense of Humor remains intact. No biopsy, exploratory surgery or other invasive procedure is required. Happy health!
January 15th, 2014
What an experience! Glad your tumor was benign, but sometimes one wants to kick certain DNA for what it brings us. I think you have had enough. You deserve a wonderful 2014.
January 15th, 2014
Glad you’re home and doing well. Super glad the thing was benign, and also that you were not harboring an alien. I’ve had abdominal surgery – it’s miserable, but there will be an end to the misery.
January 15th, 2014
Bless you, Arletta.
January 15th, 2014
Bless you, It is amazing how time in the hospital leaves one feeling as though the truck trying to avoid the herd of elephants, hit us, after the elephants ran over us. Hope you will recover soon. Good to know your sense of humor was not removed.
January 15th, 2014
Thank you all so much for the well-wishes. And Louise, good to hear from the voice of experience. And end to the misery is just what I’m counting on.
January 15th, 2014
So happy you’re home and on the mend. Be well and when you get a chance, start writing…looking forward to the next Alafair book. Regards from your friends in Peoria, AZ
January 16th, 2014
Donis, please be A-Okay soon. One of my favorite authors doesn’t deserve pain, just sunny days and posies!
January 16th, 2014
I cant believe how awful Nick Nolte looked. And He did not have your excuse. Seriously, as long as it came back benign we are happy, and you will get well. Just let it happen. lots of love, Ronnie
January 18th, 2014
From your equally endocrine-impaired sister: I’m so glad it went well! And it does get better pretty quickly. I’ll tell you, you’ll never forget how much it hurts to cough! I remember crying when the nurse would come in the room and make me hold the pillow on my abdomen and cough. I don’t remember her name but I’m pretty sure her last name had to be Ratchet!
January 18th, 2014
Mart, it’s ten days out and I’m way better already. Though I won’t be running any marathons for a while! I can already cough without wanting to faint. Can’t put on my own socks, but I can cough.